It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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