Umm I'm too high to move.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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