too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
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Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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