Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
