he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
