I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
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Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
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But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize