Redeem this text for a blowjob
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
3 2 1 whiskey
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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