felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
