I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
