he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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