I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
