sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize