It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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