Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
