Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
