my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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