it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
