Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
A bitchslap is in order.
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