chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
