YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
