the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
