i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize