Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
