Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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