Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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