now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
