Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
