my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize