I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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