remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
