You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
whose ass print is on the piano?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
