they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
