Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
