Fuck appropriateness.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
