butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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