just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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