you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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