i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I am available for nakedness
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
