dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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