I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So many bounce houses so little time
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
