Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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