do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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