He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
