how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize