Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just found puke in my bra..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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