I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize