are you still at the devil's house?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
