Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
