I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
