this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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