i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
