I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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