ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize