But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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