Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
