Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
