my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
