I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
