At least make sure they are 18
Why
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
