She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
