Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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