she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
