U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize