White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
