Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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