i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
