y did u give ur computer a hand job?
do herpes really smell.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize