the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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